when the back of my neck gets tickled
when she tells you her bra size and you have no idea what the fuck it means
me not being on ur snapchat best friend list is offensive
i just burned 1200 calories (i forgot the pizza in the oven)
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele